My mom decided to meet me in Colombia for my birthday so we chose Medellin since neither of us had been. From Cartagena there was a snafu with the buses and instead of the 12 hour night bus I was supposed to be on, I ended up on a 5 hour one to some middle of nowhere town at 2:30 am with the next bus to Medellin not leaving until 6. 3 other Colombian girls were in my same situation so we layed our stuff out and set up camp to sleep for the next 3.5 hours. One of the bus companies said there was a bus departing at 4:30 am from a small town an hour away and he would take us by taxi to secure the bus fare. At almost 4:00 on the dot, we arrived to the “terminal”. The bus was an old, rusty and beyond uncomfortable school bus with seats barely big enough for a small adult. When the person in front of me reclined, they were literally in my lap. Something that didn´t cause the least bit of concern for them. 8 miserable hours later, I arrived in Medellin and took a cab to the Sheraton where my mom would soon be arriving.
Thanks to my wonderful mother and her negotiating skills, she got us a great deal at The Sheraton. After months of dumps, sleeping in crisp, white sheets and a choice of 5 pillows, I don´t give a shit how corporate Sheraton is…I was in heaven. Outdoor gym (complete with Turkish bath and sauna), swimming pool, cable TV..OMELETTE STATION..it was all a welcomed change.
There is really nothing to do in Medellin. We checked off most of the sites in one day and left ourselves shrugging with a “now what?” vibe. In reality, being in the hotel room with nice bottles of wine was fun enough. Most nights we were asleep by 11 and honestly, it couldn´t have been a better week. My birthday was spent poolside with my mom and these two great Irish girls I met in San Agustin. They came over with freshly made mojito mix and we didn´t leave the pool til the last drop. A great day followed by an interesting night out on the Medellin club scene. As a pre-party though we went to a nearby hostel where they were meeting up with some friends. The hostel was purchased a few years ago from a drug dealer that went to jail and I was joking that all they changed in the place were bunk beds and a sign on the door. The place is everything you would imagine a 1980´s drug dealers house would look like. . Tennis and basketball court, pool and pool house (which is now the hostel bar), lucite staircases, gold bathroom fixtures on burgundy sinks and tubs…just an amazing display of tacky.
That was the highlight though. Medellin is a boring place full of “wa, wah, wahhh” moments. The zen inspired barefoot park, more like a sandbox for kids. The park of lights, dim burnt out bulbs over an open concrete space. Just everything about the city is lackluster and insipid. To make matters worse, it is composed of just one highway on ramp to the next. It has to be the most pedestrian unfriendly place I have ever seen, making you feel trapped to your little area or in your car. I suppose that is why mega-malls are outrageously popular. The important thing was being with my mom though. We had a Beverly Hillbillies joke about handwashing undergarments in the sink and hanging them through the window to dry, finding secluded sections of the parking garage-esque sunning deck so we could go topless, blowing smoke out the window, using every single towel and washcloth offered to us..oh the list goes on. She left today and I leave tonight for Bogota to cash in my birthday present of a flight back to Buenos Aires. As she left me this morning, she sang “You´ll have to pry me from the room” to the tune of Frank Sinatra´s “Fly me to the moon” and I´m still cracking up hours later. Thankfully prying wasn´t necessary and I´m leaving like a sophisticated lady that the staff here thinks I am….well, except for taking advantage of the free internet and coffee!
